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Well first off I'd like to thank SnotRagDave for giving me the idea of trying to write a five hundred word article about Cheese Whiz. With out his prompting I doubt that I would have even tried to write such an article. I only hope that I can write an interesting story about Cheese Whiz and that you will not get too bored by it.
What can be said about the Whiz that is cheese? Is there anything that by putting it on does not improve in either taste, texture, aesthetics, or just plain fattiness? I was introduced to the wonders of Cheese Whiz when I was still a young fella by my best friend. This is what best friends are for, introducing us to stuff that we might never have discovered any other way. Anyway I was over at his house one afternoon after school had let out and we were snacking on a staple of ours, macaroni and cheese but with out the milk. Milk made it too runny for our tastes. All of a sudden he pulls out a slender can with a funny top on it and asks me if I want to try something really great on mac and cheese.
I was a little skeptical, I mean really what can be better than just good old mac and cheese, but I relented if for no other reason than he seemed so excited about it and I just had to find out what was in that strange can he was holding in his other hand. As soon as I agreed he whipped the can around and sprayed my mac and cheese with an orangery looking substance that made an interesting sound as it came out of the can. He took one look at my face and burst out laughing. I guess the revulsion I felt was showing on my face. After his laughs trickled off to just a few chuckles he told me to trust him and that it was really good.
Now my friend was not known for having a very sophisticate palate but hey neither was I. I mean we were only like 12 years old at the time and had no idea what lay ahead of us in the terms of food. We were basically just experimenting to find things and combinations that we liked.
So choking down my revulsion at the sight I decided to give it a real try. I gripped the fork and stabbed into the bowl spearing a few macaronis along with a rather large chunk of the orange goop. I brought it up to my face and sniffed, what was that smell? For the live of me I could not place it. It smelled like a promise going horribly wrong yet enticing and tantalizing just the same. At first I was just going to lick it and get an idea of the taste but I glanced at my friend only to see him trying desperatly to hold in his laughter. That did not boost my confidence in anyway I can tell you. It was then that I experienced an oh yeah moment. I decided that I was going to shove the whole thing into my mouth and eat it if for no other reason than to kind of spit in his eye because I could see that he thought I would not do it.
So screwing up my courage, which I will admit to not having much of at the time, I shoved the entire fork full into my mouth. I stood there for a second trying to figure out what I had just done and to see if my gag reflex would kick in. When it did not kick right in I let my self actually taste the strange concoction for the first time. OH what bliss! It was cheese....and it was in a can! It tasted sharper than I was use to but in a good melty kind of way. As I was chewing I could not believe that I had lived so long and not known about this joyous cheese filled can.
I barely swallowed the first bite before I was shoveling in the next and the next after that. I was lost in a processed cheese filled euphoria. As I was stabbing into the bowl again I heard a strange sound, so I looked and quickly found that I had already finished it off and was now scrapping the bowl. I placed the bowl on the table and looked over at my friend who was grinning from ear to ear. As we made eye contact he said "I told you it was good now didn't I?" At that we both fell out laughing and soon laughing turned in to horse playing and the like. Eventually we headed into the basement for our daily rummy card game. Once we were seated I started peppering him with questions about the cheese in a can. He just grinned and tossed me the can.
I looked at the front of it and read the name "Cheese Whiz". I knew right then and there I was hooked for life. We spent the rest of the evening playing cards and talking about cheese whiz and girls, not actually in that order but cheese whiz did place a rather close second...we were 12 after all.
Well the story was supposed to only be 500 words but is now over 900. I hope tht you have enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed living it.
