A 500 word article on Cheese Whiz! pt2

As I was writing the first part of this article I was telling the story of me and my best friend and him introducing me to the wonders of processed cheese product also known as Cheese Whiz. Because I was trying to keep it short I let out a bit of the story concerning what we did. It left me feeling unfinished and I figured it would be best to finish the story for ya'll to enjoy. For those without kids or at least without boys it might come as a shock what a couple of bored fellas can get into with a couple of cans of Whiz, especially when no one is around to stop them.

Here we are in the basement playing rummy. My friend has the worst card luck of anyone I've ever met. I always thought there should've been a study on it but I'm not a scientist so I left it alone. I know you've heard the saying "even a blind squirrl can find a nut" well every once in a while he would have the cards fall just right and actually beat me. At that point he would jump up form the table and do a winners dance which is just down right painfull to watch all the while saying "playing rummy with a dummy"(I know, kinda stupid but hey, we're 12). I mean we're both 12 so coordination isn't at its high point yet.

Anyway I'd finally quit asking questions and we had settled in for a few games. I had been winning a few hands when out of the blue he stomped my 2 hands in a row. Oh the horror of the winner's dance was almost too much to bare. I had forgotten about the can of whiz sitting off to one side of the table but I noticed it again when I turned to watch the end of the first winner's dance. Yes, watching is mandatory! After he won the second hand and jumped up to do the dance again an evil thought snuck into my head. As he was doing a spin (stumbling in the process) I grabbed up the can of cheese and got up. I knew it would be bad but I just couldn't stop myself. He had his back turned doing some kind of leg move when I got close to him. As he turned back around I squirted him with the cheese.

Oh the look on his face was priceless, it went from concentration to shock to "Aww man" to if you want war you got it. Of course at this point I'm laughing so hard I thought I would have to change pants and didn't see him go to the self and grab another can of cheese. I did however feel it when he sprayed me right in my laughing mouth. Yep, it's war now!

We chased each other all over the basement slinging cheese and trying to catch each other with our guard down. At one point I tripped him and was able to squirt some cheese down his shirt before high tailing it away from him again. He also managed to grab me at one point and spray my hair in orange goodness even to the point of rubbing it in for good measure. All the while we're laughing like hyenas on crack and making a grand old mess. Of course we don't even see the mess as we go from room to room in the basement, chasing and spraying all the while.

Now you're saying to yourself that the cheese doesn't spray very far or very hard. Yep your right so we had to get as close as possible without getting an arm or leg caught while doing it. For longer distances we would squirt the cheese into out hands and throw it at each other. I'm sure that by now you have a good mental picture of what it's looking like.

We were so caught up in the cheesey fun that we didn't hear the front door open. Nor did we hear our names being called or the footfalls on the stairs but we did hear the horrified screams that came from his mother when she came out of the stairwell and saw us. We spun around to face her and knew we were dead. Her face was a picture of total shock that was just starting to give way to anger. As her blood pressure went up my heart sank and I started actually looking around the room, seeing the mess for the first time.

She blew up. Can't even say I'd blame her for kicking us all up and down the street either. She was yelling at us about making such a mess and wasting food all the while dragging us around the rooms and pointing out exactly what kind of a mess we had made and how hard it was going to be to clean it up. All of a sudden a change came over her and she stopped, looked at us and told us that she wasn't going to clean this mess up we were. At that she left the room and went back upstairs to gather up the cleaning supplies we needed.

While she was doing that we were left in the middle of the room, looking at the havoc we had caused. I glanced at him and he at me, all of a sudden we were an the floor laughing hard enough to bust a gut. Naturally this is when she came back downstairs and saw us. She dropped the cleaning supplies and told us that she hoped we had as much fun cleaning it up as we were having right now. She went on to say that she'd be checking in on us and we had best get to cleaning or all kinds of dire things would happen such as a phone call to my mother and the like.

We grabbed the supplies and started to clean up, all the while laughing and cracking jokes about the mess and the cheese. Eventually we calmed down enough to actually get some work done and started talking about all kinds of things to help pass the time. We worked past dinner and well in to the evening but we did get the cleaning done before I had to go home. We both had to have baths before being presentable again though. Once it was done it was time for me to head back to my house, hoping all the while that she hadn't called my mom while we were cleaning up.

I went home just knowing I was going to get it good when I got there but when I finally did arrive I quickly realized that she hadn't called my mom so I was off the hook as it were. Over the years we would hang out and talk about some of the stupid, fun stuff we did while we were growing up and get a good laugh while enjoying a big bowl of mac n cheese, no milk, and topped off with cheese whiz.

It's been over 10 years since my friend passed and I no longer play rummy but I think of him and our times often. I'm thankful to have had such a wonderful friend when I needed one the most.

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